Totally Handy if You Lose Your Balls!

So yesterday the whole freak show, I mean family, and I went to the Outdoor Expo here in Utah. It's something Mr Man and I take B and our 2 nephews, Thing 1 & Thing 2, to every year. This year my sister and her man friend wanted to come along so we all loaded up the truck and
we drove to Beverly... Oh wait, that's a song...

Normally the Outdoor Expo is half hunting and the other half is fishing, camping, boating and other outdoor nonsense that focuses on the latest & greatest in outdoor thingamabobs and watchamacallits that each man, woman and child can not be without when the urge to be "one
with nature" calls. (How was that for a run on sentence?) This year I think I saw one booth for camping and all the rest was for hunting and fishing. Which sucked ass. Big ass. All I was interested in was camping gear since I am not big on killing or catching anything in the wilderness.

There were, of course, some awesome things that were almost worth the $500 it seemed like we spent yesterday. The youth fair taught the young 'uns how to fasten their life jackets while the boat was about to tip over in the choppy waters. Never mind that we don't have a boat yet but it's nice to be prepared right? It was pretty funny watching all the little kids get tossed up and down and thrown all about by these old guys moving this little row boat around while they scurried to get the life jackets buckled. One little guy was almost tossed overboard but luckily he saved himself.

They also taught them how to build a campfire and how to make sure it was completely "out cold" before leaving the campsite or before going to bed. (Much like me back in my partying days when I'd had a few too many! Ok, so that was totally last weekend. What's your point?)

But, I'm thinking that the camouflage NEGLIGEE, complete with camo lace trim, was probably not something I just had to have before I left the expo yesterday. First of all, when we go camping, even during the summer, it's usually colder then a witches tit at night. And we have a trailer! I know it's warmer to sleep in less clothes, or naked, (ask me how I know that one) when the temperature drops outside, but a negligee? Seriously? Who goes camping, or hunting, and while packing thinks, "Oh, I better remember to pack my camo negligee?" The person who packs that probably also packs her camo high heels and matching skirt, which are just about as practical!

I'm guessing that this is probably geared towards the wife whose husband is not just a dedicated hunter, but the psycho, crazed "let's-have-our-honeymoon-in-a-pop-up-tent-trailer-while-I-kill-deer-and-hell-ya-I-think-that's-totally-romantic-just-ignore-all-the-blood-and-guts" and the "I-know-your-due-any-minute-but-your-water-better-not-break-this-week-because-it's-the-deer-hunt-and-if-it-does-you'll-be-on-your-own-broad!" type hunter. The poor woman married to this type of man probably does need something like this to get his eyes turned away from the all antlers and back to her!

Among the other useless things I saw were the "Extra Balls" that were glow in the dark. They really were named "Extra Balls" and they were extra golf balls. That glowed in the dark. Just in case you were playing golf. In the dark. In the wilderness. Ya, I don't get it either.

As my final note, I have a sales tip for a few of them for next year....

When it's near the end of the day and you're trying to unload as much of your product as possible so you don't have to pack it home, and you're lying to people that the jars on the table are "all that's left" so that customers really need to make up their mind quickly before it's all gone...

You might want to, oh, I don't know...

Maybe, COVER UP all the open boxes under the table (that we can all see) that show the hundreds and hundreds of jars you still have left. It's really not rocket science guys. Just sayin!

Roll Over and Play Dead

I am just FLABBERGASTED!

FLABBERGASTED!!!

I was going to say speechless but that wouldn't actually be true since I have lots to say. And besides, when have you guys ever known me to be speechless? Seriously?

It looks like there were at least 1,000 new visitors to my blog between Friday and today, mostly in thanks to SITS and me being the featured blog on Friday.

That was ONE THOUSAND new visitors! I was never any good at math in school so luckily there were low cut shirts and short shorts and male math teachers and luckily I didn't have to know too much of it to pass the classes in high school...

Oh, wait... where was I going with this?

Oh, right, the new visitors!

Ya, I tried counting all the new visitors as they showed up on my doorstep but ran out of fingers and toes pretty quickly. Luckily I have my statcounter to tally up all my fabulous visitors so I didn't have to bother the neighbors to help me. Which is a good thing since my new neighbors don't speak English. And their dog is kind of scary.

And did I mention they don't speak English? At all?

It was so great to see everyone and see all the comments that were left. Everyone was so sweet! It's going to take weeks for me to get through all the comments and visit everyone back!

First, I have to admit something. That I didn't notice until today. And I am soooo embarrassed. Did anyone else notice it? It was right there in big, bold letters! Did you catch it?

Ya, see I knew you did! I'm so ashamed! My last post was titled "Wlecome" instead of "Welcome!"

Sheesh! Where did I learn to spell?!?! Ya, it could have been in one of the classes with the low cut shirts and short shorts. Just sayin...

There is also a lot of new followers that I'm so excited to have around. Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow to visit you guys and follow you back.

It's 3:30 in the morning, and yes I'm up at this hour yet again because of Mr T. I think I'm going to go lay down and pretend to be sleeping. Maybe I can fake my own body out and it'll fall asleep. You know, like when you encounter a bear, and you pretend your dead?

Ya, sorta like that.

All right. Good night everyone! Hugs and kisses to all my new friends!

P.S. Who left a pair of of sparkly black thongs when they stopped by? They're really cute, and super comfy, and they fit me... Um, forget I mentioned them! What thongs? What are you talking about? I didn't mention thongs!

Welcome SITS! SITS Does a Bloggy Good...

Well, helllloooooo there!



It's after midnight and I just wanted to put up a quick post to welcome everyone from SITS!

I tried to clean up the place a bit (do you like the new curtains?) There's fresh coffee and donuts out for everyone so pull up a chair, or a pillow, and take a load off...

I'm so excited to have everyone here at my cute little blog that I can't even sleep right now. Ok, well, maybe it's also because of Mr T and because of the recent increase in dosage that I had to take again today, but I'm positive that THAT is only part of it!

And for all the rest of you who are stopping by who aren't visiting from SITS, and want other updates, here you go:

Mother in law is not doing good at all. She's gotten worse in fact. She was supposed to start chemo but because she's still infected with MRSA from the first and second cancer surgeries, and still has open wounds from the incisions, they haven't started that yet. She also has contracted some sort of viral infection that sounds like it's traveled to her chest. We're very worried that this could turn into Pneumonia or Bronchitis. She has Stage 4 cancer and I can't imagine losing her to something like pneumonia or bronchitis instead because of the complications!

My dosage of Mr T was increased another 25 mg today. Wow.

Did I say WOW?

Holy hell...

Normally if I guzzle water like there's no tomorrow, the burning, tingling in my hands and feet stays at bay. Not this afternoon. The pain was widespread but the worst was in my left thumb which hurt, well, HURTS still, like I hit it with a hammer. Tonight the pain is still bad in my hands and feet, really bad in my thumb, but other then no appetite, that's about it so far.

Well, that and the fact that I've lost.....

TEN POUNDS!!!!!!

The first week I lost almost 4 pounds, which I thought could have been a fluke, but then this past week I've lost an additional 6 pounds. Amazing what happens when you stop eating all kinds of crap, er, I mean, being more responsible. And Mr T is actually turning me off to junk food and making me crave protein and healthier foods. Most of it still tastes like cardboard. It's weird. I WANT to eat it but when I go to eat it, it doesn't taste good. If that can make any sense at all! lol

All right, I'm closing now so I can post this before anyone stops by...

Happy Friday everyone!!!