Everyone does the “Resolutions” post about the things they “believe” they’re really going to accomplish in the coming year.
This is NOT that post.
Even though everyone INTENDS to keep their resolutions, by the 2nd week of the new year, 90% of those resolutions have been tossed by the wayside and forgotten. A dieter gets one whiff of a cheeseburger and the resolution to lose weight and eat healthier is thrown out the drive thru window. (And no, I’m not speaking from personal experience! Why would you even think that???)
There are a lot of good intentions in this world but as you’ve heard before “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” And I don’t want to go to hell. Really… It’s hot there… I’m just sayin…
I may have mentioned this before but I am the biggest procrastinator you will EVER have the chance of knowing. I admit that. I accept that.
“My name is Andrea and I’m a procrastinator.”
<“Hi Andrea!”>
So I figured that since I’m a rebel and thrive on being the Fruit Loop in this big old world full of Cheerios, I am doing a different post.
My list of things I WILL NOT resolve to do this year!
- I will not promise to keep my house cleaner then it has been for the past 5 years. Will I remember 5 years from now if my sink was shiny every morning and my bed made? NO! What I will remember is the memories I will make with my son and with Jason. They are more important to me then making sure all my couch pillows are exactly straight in case company comes over.
I will not promise to lose weight! Dieting is for the birds. I would rather focus my energy on life and living it! If I died tomorrow would I be glad I had a salad last night for dinner? Or a grapefruit for breakfast? No! (Plus, I love food too much to give any of it up. Shh, that’ll be our little secret!) I have NEVER been one of those girls who doesn’t eat on dates and stresses over her body every second of every day. I do NOT have a scale in my house and will never own one. And I like chocolate cake. A lot. Seriously.
I will not resolve to quit drinking. Why would I do that? It's a good time. Besides, if I quit drinking, what would I do between 9 and 10:00 in the morning at work?
I will not resolve to get out of debt. I can't wrap my head around that and as I've said already, when you're a procastinator, getting out of debt isn't something you know you can handle. And how would I get out of debt with all the retail therapy I need to accomplish?
I will not resolve to get my "professional life" in order or wish for a better career. I don't want to work. Have never wanted to work. I DREAD going to work. Why would I resolve to get more of it in my life?
I will not resolve to have more peace and quiet in my life. I've never shared this with all of you before BUT I have a confession to make. (Yes, I know! Another one! It feels great to get all these confessions off my chest!) I am the "shusher" mom. The one who yells at everyone else to shut up because I can't take a lot of noise. J and Brady will be rough housing and playing at night and I'm constantly telling them to shut their pie holes. I need to stop that.
I will not resolve to take on a new hobby or learn a new language. I already have more then I have time for. Besides, what could be a better hobby then bedazzling everything we own.
So, those are my UN-Resolutions for 2009!
65 comments:
I'm pretty sure I can keep, or not keep, that entire list too.
The absolute best list I've seen this year. :)
Shoot. I meant to use this ID. lol. It links to my new site, btw. :)
I love your blog Andrea. This is Annie from the fibro group.
Love and gentle hugs!!
Can I sign up for updates?
Love it!s I can stick to that! :)
So, how are those resolutions coming along?
I like your list!!
s
http://allaboutmeandabagofchips.typepad.com/
What a cool post. And you know what, we can share the world's worst procrastinator title. http://juggelingactoflife.blogspot.com/
I'm with you on the clean house and dieting issues.s My favorite quote about keeping a clean house?s "I am far too interested and interesting to keep a clean house".s It may not be true but doesn't it just make you feel better :) ?
Great list - I hope you are successfully keeping your un-resolutions!
Now this is a resolution list I can get behind!
What a great UN-Resolution list!! :)
s
Happy SITS Day! :)
Great Post!s Procrastinate should no longer be a dirty word.s It should now be considered "in" to procrastinate!s That would be good!
s
Tracey
Haha! Love this post!
This is the BEST non-resolution New Year's post I've ever read.s And now that it's March, I bet you are still keeping up with your non-resolutions, clever girl. Happy SITS day!
Procrastinate and chocolate cake all in the same blog.s Sounds devilishly delicious.s
haha this is funny :)
I love your un-resolutions.
s
Hope you accomplish them all.
Ha! You and I would get along fantastically don't ya know? I could probably rival you for procrastination queen and I too am a "shusher" mom! Love the list! Happy SITS day!
Great post!s I'm likin' your way of thinking!
Great post!s Man...in the spirit of your post I could think of many things I promise to not do.s I think you've covered a lot of them though.s LOVE IT!
s
Happy SITS day!
Great list! Happy SITS day!
LOL...I don't know how many people make resolutions because the "believe" they will get it accomplished, but because they want to have something to focus on...
s
I chose this year to Focus.s Nothing specific, just learn to focus on whatever task i'm working on...sometimes it's reading a blog through, or clearning off the counter...
s
I'm a new years resolution~er.s I do it every year...
Now this idea I can go with!
What a great list. You did what you wanted to do. Yeah.
That list was ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! Especially the graphics to go along with everything...you are just too funny!
Hope you've managed to keep this unresolutions!
I like chocolate cake, too.sI resolve to eat more of it!
Ahaha!s Why diet - you've got kids to run after so chocolate cake is part of your daily caloric needs!s Love the pic, too.s I needed this laugh after the crying one - thanks! :)
Love this post! I've given up on keeping the house clean too! After all nobody stops by on the one day that it is clean anyway, they always come over when it's nor, right? That and it's hard to do when we're always here vs. people who are gone all day and come home to a tidy house!
Bahahaha
s
I love it!
I love your UN-resolutions! What a fabulous idea! Maybe I'll make some un-resolutions of my own next year :)
HAHAHAHAH!!! Love it!!! That's me every year. I'm not promising anything about weight loss EVER!!!
alittlebitofkooky.blogspot.com
Good un-resolutions!s I am with ya on the cleaning house!s I am part of your procrastinator group ;)
s
Hope you are enjoying your SITS day.s BTW, I love using smilies.s I have a friend who calls me Smilie Vickie :-D
Hooray for you.s It's about time somebody took a stand on this.s And be strong, I know you can do it!
Those are great! I hate making resolutions :( sSo un-resolutions are my kind of thing. You are hilarious!
Pretty great list!s I did make one resolution, to continue to be awesome.s I'm sticking to it so far!
best new year's post ever!
That was fun. sYou have a great sense of humor. sCome to my blog for a laugh. sBrowning Dirt teiners5.blogspot.com/
I love out of the box thinking.s Great post.
Visiting from SITS.
I like the idea of unresolutions!s Funny post.s Thanks for sharing. :)
Go girl!
lol how cute! NOT resolving to do things is like a much better plan than making resolutions.
Great non-resolutions!
s
The Divine Miss Mommy
http://www.thedivinemissmommy.com
I think I could handle not keeping a few of these myself!
This was so much more fun to read than a resolutions post!
http://blessed-quiver.blogspot.com
s
I love your un resolutions.
s
We could all be less diety. That was the best one on there, to me.s And that's diet with a Y, a word I just made up.
http://snarky-belle.blogspot.com/
s
Everything about this post was fantastic! Thanks for the laugh.
Perfect post! I could not have come up with better un resolutions!
I am stil laughing about not drinking and what would you do at work betwen 9 an 10.s That was funny!s How many of these have you not done?
That is the most honest list ever! Hehe!
Perfect! 8-)
I love it!s I'm with you 100%.
Great list!! Nothing better than un-resolutions!! Hope you're not keeping them!
s
if only more people were honest with themselves, like this, they MIGHT actually do more stuff!!
I like that list!!!
I don't usually set resolutions because I never keep them anyway.
Love this list!
Gotta love the reality!
Haha, love them!
I love Anne Taintor's work! Stop by and visit sometime: thesweetjellybean.blogspot.com
Oh that's too funny.s I love this list.s So should I ask how you're coming along with your non resolutions?
I need to create a list like this....I am loving it!
s
smmuconn.blogspot.com
Unresolutions!s I love it!s Happy SITS day!
This is classic.
s
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
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