Sunday, September 7, 2008

Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM bitter!

J's been working 6 days a week for almost 3 months now. He's working 12-14 hours each day with only Sundays off. When he IS home, he's useless. He's so tired by the time he gets off work, he only wants to relax and can't help me with anything. I don't blame him; if I were working that hard and that much, I'd be useless, I mean exhausted, too. He still comes home, stomps around the house and bitches and moans about how the house is a mess, and what a lousy day he's had, like he did before he was working this much. Now, you have to understand, a "mess" to him is actually "tidy" by almost everyone else's standards.

There is one thing I've never mentioned here yet. J is a neat freak. Not just a regular ol' neat freak who likes the house to be clean at all times. No, this is the OCD-socks arranged by hue and color-canned foods lined up perfectly on the shelf-dish towels folded, hung, and spaced exactly the same distance apart-Monk twin/sleeping with the Enemy-type of neat freak. The man can tell at a glance if one of the 600+ DVD's we have are missing or if one of B's 100+ star wars figures is gone from the shelf. So when he comes home whining that the house is a mess, it actually looks pretty damn good to me.

And it's not like I am home, eating bon-bons and watching my "stories" on TV. No, I work full time too. And with all of the health problems I have, he's lucky I get half of what I do done on my own. But, I feel like a single parent anymore. I'm the one who cooks and cleans and worries about getting B to and from school, organizes the drs appts, does the laundry, gives B his baths, gets him ready for bed, and all the things the parents do. I know most moms carry the bigger burden of childcare and the house cleaning but this is ridiculous. I don't think he's done ANYTHING to help with B in a few weeks now.

So yes, I'm feeling bitter tonight since I've been in a lot of pain today and I'm exhausted myself. But instead of being able to come home, lay down on the couch and go to sleep like a certain bump on a log did today, I still had to do everything else around here and put B to bed. He needs the rest but hey, so do I!!!! All right, I guess I'm done having my pity party tonight. Just wanted to vent and put this out into the universe since I can't do much about the situation until he goes back to working 5 days instead of 6. Well, that, or I end up smothering him in his sleep with his pillow at which point I beccome a single parent for real and then I really find out I didn't know what I was talking about at all because it would definitely be harder all on my own.

I need to go to bed, I don't think I'm making any sense anymore lol

Have a good night!

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