Still No Concrete Answers...

I still don’t have many answers from my surgeon about the test results. Not surprising. It’s always been a “wait n see” kind of game with these tumors. You’d think after a few years of dealing with this, I’d be more patient. But no, I haven’t.

The test I went for at the hospital was awful. “Here, drink this barium while we contort your body into different positions.”

“Yes, ma’am I know this has the consistency of paint but you have to drink it for the test to work properly.”

“Ma’am, ma’am! You have to swallow alllll of it!”

“Turn to your right side… Lay down on your back…. Turn back to your left… Stand up please…. Lay on your stomach…”

“Now we need you to do a handstand please…”

Ok, that last part didn’t happen but totally could have that morning. As if it’s not awful enough that you have to drink 6 different cups of barium shit in different consistencies ranging from a melted milkshake to PAINT, you have to contort yourself into different positions for 45 minutes so they can make sure the barium covers everything. I wanted to vomit but of course made myself keep it down. If I would have puked, they would have made me start the test all over again. To which I would have said Hell no because once was quite enough. (Needless to say I was sick from that much barium for at least 3 days after the test.)

At the end of the test they have you swallow a pill of barium which is supposed to be about the size of chewed up food so they can track it from your throat down to your stomach. I guess to see if there’s any snags along the way. I took it and I hear one of the techs behind the glass go “Huh” in that kind of tone that’s like “huh, that was weird.” or "Huh, maybe she shouldn't be wearing pants so tight that I can see the cellulite on her ass!" So he tells the tech in the room with me to make me do it again. So I do and that’s when I hear.. “There it is!”

He comes out to tell me that while there were no “large” tumors or blockages that they could see, there was “something’ in my throat. RIGHT where I’ve been telling these doctors I can feel a lump. It seems the pill they had me swallow twice got stuck in the same exact spot. They were both stuck there for a good 2 minutes before continuing down to my stomach. Unfortunately for me, the technician said they would have to run a different test with better definition visibility or some such crap to see what “it” exactly was.

So I guess I’m in limbo again. Waiting for the final report from that test, for a new test to be ordered, and still waiting for the results from the blood work and biopsy they took.

You will all know as soon as I know what the hell is going on.