I've been hiding out. In a big way. I've slipped into this funk and can't seem to shake it. I had to sign some legal stuff this week that I did NOT want to sign. I felt like shit putting my name on that little black line. Like I was signing away my dignity. "Sign your name then please bend over!" Whether I was or not is mostly in my own mind I'm sure but that's what it felt like.
So that makes it real right?
I know there have been people from my past reading/subscribing to my blog that I would rather didn't. People I no longer speak to and have cut off communication with. Knowing they're visiting and reading my blog, my own thoughts, has stressed me out in such a huge way that I've almost felt compelled to stop blogging here.
Yes, blogging is never really "private" unless you mark your blog private but I know a lot of great readers & other bloggers found my blog by chance or through someone elses blog (and vice versa) that I do not want to do that. It was tempting.
Then I pulled my head out of my ass.
Why should I allow someone else, who I DO NOT CARE ABOUT, have control over something that I really, intensely enjoy doing? My blog is my outlet, my art, my place to bitch and be a bitch. If they feel the need to spy on me, and obviously have nothing better to do, then let them.
I refuse to stop doing the one constant thing in my life that I turn to when things are good. Or bad. So to hell with them. Seriously...
In other news, I still don't have a job. BUT, I've watched enough daytime TV that I could host a talk show, be a news anchor and run paternity tests all on my own. How's that for talent? Don't be jealous because I know you are...