Where I've been lately....

Hey everyone! I know all 3 of my readers have probably been wondering where I've been lately. Some of you belong to other groups I've given updates to and some of you follow me on Twitter where I've also been letting people know what's been happening. If you've already heard this, bear with me since there's a new update at the end. If you haven't seen any updates from me, read on...

Due to my FMS (fibro) I have a horrible short term memory and am really bad at remembering details of any kind so I'm going through my sent messages to paste them here.

*****************************************************
Very late on 10/17/08 and/or early morning on 10/18/08:
*****************************************************

Currently sittin at hospital waiting for my MIL to come out of emergency surgery. She went in for horrible stomach pains this morning and they took her in for surgery tonite.

They found cancer. A LOT of cancer. Enough to where they couldn't remove any of it because it was all over inside. They aren't sure where it originated but they did remove a tiny spot to have tests run on it but those won't be back for 3 or 4 days. The doctor said she needs to stay here at hospital at least until the test results are back.

She's only 55. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

she has been having so much stomach pain for about 18 months. They said at first they thought it was CDEF (CDF? sp?) and she got worse and worse as months went by. The doctor just kept throwing antibiotics at her and not doing much for her. She has literally been wasting away
this year. She hasn't been able to eat anything solid for the last 3 weeks.

The extremely bad part of all of this is she has no insurance!!! My FIL is a building inspector but is basically considered self employed so they don't have any sort of coverage. This could ultimately bankrupt them if this turns out to be really bad.

I'll let you know more when I know more.

*********************************************************************

**********
10/23/08:
**********

Good morning all! I wanted to send an update on my poor MIL while I was thinking about it.

She's not doing well at all. She's still in the hospital and seems to be getting worse each day. She was in such great spirits Saturday morning and then again on Sunday afternoon she seemed to be feeling much better. She started having horrible pains in her stomach again late Sunday, which is what brought her to the ER on Friday in the first place. She says it feels like horrible gas pains but since the cancer is in her stomach and intestines it might just be the pain from the cancer being in there. Doctors are still waiting for the biopsy they sent off late Friday night from the sample they took during surgery to come back from the lab. They thought it would be back by Monday or Tuesday at the latest but it still isn't back yet?!?!

Here's what I do know for sure so far:

The reason they took her in for the surgery Friday night was because one of the tests they ran while she was in the ER showed a very large blockage in her smaller intestine. They told her they were going in laperoscoply (if that's how you spell that?!?!?) to try and repair the smaller intestine and fix the blockage. The plan was to cut out the part that was all blocked up and then reconnect her smaller intestine back together, removing the blocked part. They told her that due to what the tests they'd run had already shown them, they WERE NOT going to open her up because there was so much cancer. They told her to open her up would "be a death sentence" due to the amount of cancer that they could already see. (something about how cancer grows faster or speeds up or something of that nature when it's met with open air or outside air or something like that). They couldn't repair the intestine so they OPENED HER UP!

Report from her surgery stated the cancer was pretty much everywhere and on everything in her stomach, intestines, organs etc. While there were tumors inside the intestine, the rest of the cancer is the "sticky adhesion" kind that is not possible to remove. The blockage turned out to be a bunch of cancerous tumors inside her smaller intestine which they were unable to remove due to the way it'd grown attached to something else in there. I'm not a doctor so I have no idea what exactly that entails. It was so bad that they weren't even able to reattach the smaller intestine back together. They rigged it so that her large and smaller intestine were hooked together somehow.

As of last night, the biopsy they'd sent off from the surgery was still not back. They're waiting on those results to try and find out what kind of cancer it is, where it originated from, etc.. Her pain levels have sky rocketed and they're not able to keep her pain under control even with her still having the epidural in from when they did the surgery and giving her pain meds through her IV on top of that. They said for her to get out of the hospital, she would have to be able to have her bowels working again and be able to eat and drink small amounts of things, her pain levels had to be under control somewhat, and of course, it all hinges on what the report says. Her bowels have started to wake up and yesterday she was trying to sip on a little bit of water but it only caused more pain. You can just hear the pain in her voice when she talks. She's having a hard time breathing now as well. We spoke to her late last night and she said she was hurting so much and couldn't breathe so they were going to come up and take her down for an ultrasound to see if they could see what the problem is. It sounds like it might have spread to her lungs and that could be why she's having such a hard time breathing. If it is in her lungs then she'll start having problems with fluid building up in there and having to get her lungs drained on a regular basis.

We are all so worried at this point. She's not doing well and her spirits are really low right now, reasonably so, but she was trying to be optimistic this past weekend and that seems to be gone now as well. I'm trying to be the "glue" that holds the whole family together over here which is causing my own health problems to flare up with the stress and exhaustion of trying to do it all on my own but there isn't any other option right now. Luckily we live across the street from my MIL and FIL so I'm able to keep a close eye on J's dad. I've been cooking for him and taking dinner to him everyday. Trying to keep his house going while mine seems to be falling apart! There's laundry for days and clutter here and there and since J and I both work full time, there isn't enough hours in the day to do it all but I'm trying. J's brother and his wife live over 2 hours away from us and J's brother is in school to become a nurse. Right now he's doing his clinicals which he can't miss so it's hard on them being so far away and not being able to help out or just sit with someone for awhile to keep them company. Luckily they'll be down on weekends so they'll be here tomorrow to help me out a little bit. J's no help right now because he's just beside himself with worry and grief that he's going to lose his mother soon. I just don't know what else to do for them all then what I'm doing. It just doesn't seem like enough though!

Well, i better end this novel I've been writing. Sorry to be so long winded. Thank you to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers and good wishes you've been sending out way. Please keep them going. We'll need all the help we can get from the big man upstairs.

**********************************************************************************

That was the last update I'd sent to my groups. She was let go from the hospital last Saturday & was home all of 5 days when she got up one morning and walked to the bathroom and felt stuff running down her legs. She looked down and this gross brown/green/yellow crap was gushing down her stomach and legs. She hollered for my FIL to come to the bathroom and he rushed her to the ER again. It seems the doctors and nurses who discharged her last weekend neglected to send her home with antibiotics (oops!) and her huge incision on her stomach was completely infected. The infection was so bad that the infection ATE THROUGH her inner AND outer stitches so she was completely wide open! They had to put her back in the hospital to get the infection under control. The doctors told her they couldn't close her back up until all the infection was completely gone and that she'd need to be there for at least 3-4 days for treatment before they'd allow her to go home again. The ER nurse told her the docs should never have let her go home that first time without some sort of antibiotic to take as a precaution so that no infection would set in. They completed screwed up! But get this... They realized they really screwed up and that first night she was there at the hospital, after all of us had gone home, a nurse and 4 doctors came in late that night to give her morphine for the pain before she went to sleep. After they had doped her up pretty good, all of them started in on my MIL trying to get her to admit that they HAD sent her home with antibiotics and that she just forgot to take them! They were trying to get her on record saying it was HER fault she was all infected so she couldn't sue them for what happened. Can you believe that? She wouldn't admit it and they kind of kept brow beating her for about 30 minutes until they realized she wasn't going to say what they wanted her to say, even with her being all drugged up. She called us the next morning in a panic and wanting to leave the hospital because she didn't trust being alone there with them. Poor lady!

Now the docs said she would have to stay for at least 3-4 days to get the infection under control since it was so bad but yet they released her the next day! Her incision is 4 inches long and wide and is still wide open until the infection is gone. They have it packed with guaze right now and it has to be changed at least 3 times a day. They set her up with a home health care person who is supposed to come over 3 times a day to change the bandages and so far the lady has flaked out on her both times she was supposed to show up. We've tried calling the emergency number to get someone else and they aren't answering either. This morning my FIL ended up having to take her back to the ER to change the dressing since no one was there to help! It's been a complete mess.

Please keep her in your thoughts, prayers, or whatever it is that you believe in. She's going to need all of us rooting for her to stay strong and beat this. The sad part is that my FIL has pushed me and J away saying that he wants to take care of my MIL the way he needs to and wants to. It's been hard. On the one hand, I understand he needs to deal with this in his own way. But on the other hand, I also think he's not realizing that he's also taking away precious time that my MIL has left in this world that we'd like to spend with her as well. I'm not sure if there's denial about how bad off my MIL is right now or what. But I do think he thinks there will be plenty of time for us to spend with MIL when she's "better" but I don't think he understands she may not get any better. It's been really hard on all of us and we're all trying to stay strong.

So if you guys have been wondering where I've been and why I just stopped blogging for a few weeks, that's what's been happening in my side of the world. Hopefully now that she's home, and just across the street, I'll have a bit more time to keep in touch again.

Thanks for reading the novel I've written today lol.

Have a great one!