ALL I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM A SNOWMAN
** It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy **
** Hold your ground, even when the heat is on **
** Wearing white is always appropriate **
** Winter is the best of the four seasons **
** It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection **
** There's nothing better than a foul mouthed, er I mean, weather friend **
** We're all made up of mostly water **
** You know you've made it when they write a song about you **
** Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize **
** Avoid yellow snow **
** Don't get too much sun **
** It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet **
** It's fun to hang out in your front yard **
** There's no stopping you once you're on a roll **
And... Last but not least...
** It's not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts **
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers til after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!