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Monday, July 27, 2009

Is It Too Late To Become An Astronaut?

My son asked me the other day what I wanted to be "when I grow up."

I tried to explain I am grown up. That mommy is just "between jobs" since I was laid off. And he just kept saying, "I knoooooow but what do you want to BE?!?!

How do you explain that you aspired to be many things growing up but due to certain circumstances, life choices, and too much alcohol (ha) you never went to college to "become" anything really? That you ended up becoming an Order Entry Admin? Wasn't exactly what I dreamed about as a kid.

Who dreams about sitting at a desk all day getting screamed at by customers? (Which, by the way, I'm wonderful at in case you have a job opening at your company for one Order Entry Goddess!)

As a kid I dreamed about growing up and becoming a writer, an artist, a teacher and a mother. Life happens though and sometimes your life is derailed. Sometimes, due to circumstances, you have to focus on your family and help take care of your brothers while your mom works full time and goes back to college at the age of 45. I'm extremely proud of her for that considering she never even graduated high school and had to get her GED first. (She dropped out of school when she was really young to take care of her mother when she was dying of cancer.) Then I had to do the same thing, take care of my brothers, all through high school while she tried to support all 3 kids by herself.

There was no money for college and to be honest, I was too busy to think about *MY* future really. I was busy helping to raise a family. I didn't have time for anything extra. No clubs, dances or anything that required my time before or after school.

So as I sit here, unemployed and looking for work, his question resonates in my head. What do I want to BE?

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