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Friday, January 16, 2009

This is NOT that post...

Everyone does the “Resolutions” post about the things they “believe” they’re really going to accomplish in the coming year.

This is NOT that post.

Even though everyone INTENDS to keep their resolutions, by the 2nd week of the new year, 90% of those resolutions have been tossed by the wayside and forgotten. A dieter gets one whiff of a cheeseburger and the resolution to lose weight and eat healthier is thrown out the drive thru window. (And no, I’m not speaking from personal experience! Why would you even think that???)

There are a lot of good intentions in this world but as you’ve heard before “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” And I don’t want to go to hell. Really… It’s hot there… I’m just sayin…

I may have mentioned this before but I am the biggest procrastinator you will EVER have the chance of knowing. I admit that. I accept that.

“My name is Andrea and I’m a procrastinator.”

<“Hi Andrea!”>

So I figured that since I’m a rebel and thrive on being the Fruit Loop in this big old world full of Cheerios, I am doing a different post.

My list of things I WILL NOT resolve to do this year!

  1. I will not promise to keep my house cleaner then it has been for the past 5 years. Will I remember 5 years from now if my sink was shiny every morning and my bed made? NO! What I will remember is the memories I will make with my son and with Jason. They are more important to me then making sure all my couch pillows are exactly straight in case company comes over.



I will not promise to lose weight! Dieting is for the birds. I would rather focus my energy on life and living it! If I died tomorrow would I be glad I had a salad last night for dinner? Or a grapefruit for breakfast? No! (Plus, I love food too much to give any of it up. Shh, that’ll be our little secret!) I have NEVER been one of those girls who doesn’t eat on dates and stresses over her body every second of every day. I do NOT have a scale in my house and will never own one. And I like chocolate cake. A lot. Seriously.

I will not resolve to quit drinking. Why would I do that? It's a good time. Besides, if I quit drinking, what would I do between 9 and 10:00 in the morning at work?


I will not resolve to get out of debt. I can't wrap my head around that and as I've said already, when you're a procastinator, getting out of debt isn't something you know you can handle. And how would I get out of debt with all the retail therapy I need to accomplish?

I will not resolve to get my "professional life" in order or wish for a better career. I don't want to work. Have never wanted to work. I DREAD going to work. Why would I resolve to get more of it in my life?
I will not resolve to have more peace and quiet in my life. I've never shared this with all of you before BUT I have a confession to make. (Yes, I know! Another one! It feels great to get all these confessions off my chest!) I am the "shusher" mom. The one who yells at everyone else to shut up because I can't take a lot of noise. J and Brady will be rough housing and playing at night and I'm constantly telling them to shut their pie holes. I need to stop that.



I will not resolve to take on a new hobby or learn a new language. I already have more then I have time for. Besides, what could be a better hobby then bedazzling everything we own.

So, those are my UN-Resolutions for 2009!

65 comments:

steenky bee said...

I'm pretty sure I can keep, or not keep, that entire list too.

Wendy said...

The absolute best list I've seen this year. :)

Anonymous said...

Shoot. I meant to use this ID. lol. It links to my new site, btw. :)

Unknown said...

I love your blog Andrea. This is Annie from the fibro group.

Love and gentle hugs!!

Can I sign up for updates?

Anonymous said...

Love it!s I can stick to that! :)

Anonymous said...

So, how are those resolutions coming along?

Anonymous said...

I like your list!!
s
http://allaboutmeandabagofchips.typepad.com/

Anonymous said...

What a cool post. And you know what, we can share the world's worst procrastinator title. http://juggelingactoflife.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the clean house and dieting issues.s My favorite quote about keeping a clean house?s "I am far too interested and interesting to keep a clean house".s It may not be true but doesn't it just make you feel better :) ?

Anonymous said...

Great list - I hope you are successfully keeping your un-resolutions!

Anonymous said...

Now this is a resolution list I can get behind!

Anonymous said...

What a great UN-Resolution list!! :)
s
Happy SITS Day! :)

Anonymous said...

Great Post!s Procrastinate should no longer be a dirty word.s It should now be considered "in" to procrastinate!s That would be good!
s
Tracey

Anonymous said...

Haha! Love this post!

Anonymous said...

This is the BEST non-resolution New Year's post I've ever read.s And now that it's March, I bet you are still keeping up with your non-resolutions, clever girl. Happy SITS day!

Anonymous said...

Procrastinate and chocolate cake all in the same blog.s Sounds devilishly delicious.s

Anonymous said...

haha this is funny :)

Anonymous said...

I love your un-resolutions.
s
Hope you accomplish them all.

Anonymous said...

Ha! You and I would get along fantastically don't ya know? I could probably rival you for procrastination queen and I too am a "shusher" mom! Love the list! Happy SITS day!

Anonymous said...

Great post!s I'm likin' your way of thinking!

Anonymous said...

Great post!s Man...in the spirit of your post I could think of many things I promise to not do.s I think you've covered a lot of them though.s LOVE IT!
s
Happy SITS day!

Anonymous said...

Great list! Happy SITS day!

Anonymous said...

LOL...I don't know how many people make resolutions because the "believe" they will get it accomplished, but because they want to have something to focus on...
s
I chose this year to Focus.s Nothing specific, just learn to focus on whatever task i'm working on...sometimes it's reading a blog through, or clearning off the counter...
s
I'm a new years resolution~er.s I do it every year...

Anonymous said...

Now this idea I can go with!

Anonymous said...

What a great list. You did what you wanted to do. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

That list was ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! Especially the graphics to go along with everything...you are just too funny!

Anonymous said...

Hope you've managed to keep this unresolutions!

Anonymous said...

I like chocolate cake, too.sI resolve to eat more of it!

Anonymous said...

Ahaha!s Why diet - you've got kids to run after so chocolate cake is part of your daily caloric needs!s Love the pic, too.s I needed this laugh after the crying one - thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

Love this post! I've given up on keeping the house clean too! After all nobody stops by on the one day that it is clean anyway, they always come over when it's nor, right? That and it's hard to do when we're always here vs. people who are gone all day and come home to a tidy house!

Anonymous said...

Bahahaha
s
I love it!

Anonymous said...

I love your UN-resolutions! What a fabulous idea! Maybe I'll make some un-resolutions of my own next year :)

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAH!!! Love it!!! That's me every year. I'm not promising anything about weight loss EVER!!!
alittlebitofkooky.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Good un-resolutions!s I am with ya on the cleaning house!s I am part of your procrastinator group ;)
s
Hope you are enjoying your SITS day.s BTW, I love using smilies.s I have a friend who calls me Smilie Vickie :-D

Anonymous said...

Hooray for you.s It's about time somebody took a stand on this.s And be strong, I know you can do it!

Anonymous said...

Those are great! I hate making resolutions :( sSo un-resolutions are my kind of thing. You are hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Pretty great list!s I did make one resolution, to continue to be awesome.s I'm sticking to it so far!

Anonymous said...

best new year's post ever!

Anonymous said...

That was fun. sYou have a great sense of humor. sCome to my blog for a laugh. sBrowning Dirt teiners5.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I love out of the box thinking.s Great post.
Visiting from SITS.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of unresolutions!s Funny post.s Thanks for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

Go girl!

Anonymous said...

lol how cute! NOT resolving to do things is like a much better plan than making resolutions.

Anonymous said...

Great non-resolutions!
s
The Divine Miss Mommy
http://www.thedivinemissmommy.com

Anonymous said...

I think I could handle not keeping a few of these myself!
This was so much more fun to read than a resolutions post!

Anonymous said...

http://blessed-quiver.blogspot.com
s
I love your un resolutions.
s
We could all be less diety. That was the best one on there, to me.s And that's diet with a Y, a word I just made up.

Anonymous said...

http://snarky-belle.blogspot.com/
s
Everything about this post was fantastic! Thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

Perfect post! I could not have come up with better un resolutions!

Anonymous said...

I am stil laughing about not drinking and what would you do at work betwen 9 an 10.s That was funny!s How many of these have you not done?

Anonymous said...

That is the most honest list ever! Hehe!

Anonymous said...

Perfect! 8-)

Anonymous said...

I love it!s I'm with you 100%.

Anonymous said...

Great list!! Nothing better than un-resolutions!! Hope you're not keeping them!
s

Anonymous said...

if only more people were honest with themselves, like this, they MIGHT actually do more stuff!!

Anonymous said...

I like that list!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't usually set resolutions because I never keep them anyway.

Anonymous said...

Love this list!

Anonymous said...

Gotta love the reality!

Anonymous said...

Haha, love them!

Anonymous said...

I love Anne Taintor's work! Stop by and visit sometime: thesweetjellybean.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Oh that's too funny.s I love this list.s So should I ask how you're coming along with your non resolutions?

Anonymous said...

I need to create a list like this....I am loving it!
s
smmuconn.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Unresolutions!s I love it!s Happy SITS day!

Anonymous said...

This is classic.
s
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

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