Last Wednesday my mother in law had major surgery to try and remove as much of the cancer as the surgeons hoped they could. The 3 hour surgery ended up lasting almost 6 hours but turned out pretty good. I was there even though she still isn't speaking to me. When the surgery was over and the surgeon came out to find us to tell us how it went, they said there was some problems with her blood not clotting correctly so they had to put her in ICU until she was out of the woods.
All of us got to go in together and see her as she was waking up from the surgery. She must have thought she was dying because she was saying goodbye to everyone, telling everyone she loved them and to take care of each other. It was very emotional and heart wrenching. Everyone was huddled around her bedside and I felt so removed from the scene as if I were watching a movie, far away from the reality of it all. I remember hearing the beeping of the machines in the ICU and the nurses speaking in the hall and watching the lines moving on the screen of her machine, but still felt a million miles away. I was instantly transported to the aunts I've lost to cancer and how that scene seemed so surreal and strangely familiar all at the same time. I was a little dizzy with the sense of deja vu that had washed over me and I hung back, letting the rest of the family talk to her. Assure her that the surgery turned out better then we had hoped for and that the surgeons were able to remove most of the cancer they could see.
Everyone had filed out one by one to let her get rest. Only Mr Man and I were still in the room and I quietly walked up to the bed and my mother in law turns her head and looks right at me, for the first time in a month now, and says...
"Where's my Cass?"
Cass, or Cassandra, is my beautiful, sweet new sister in law who my mother in law adores. She has welcomed her into the family in a way that she never has with me. Not in the beginning, not after a few years, not even now, 8 years later.
I just looked at her for a minute, dumb founded that even in her extremely drugged state, she still wouldn't speak to me or want anything to do with me. So I left the room and got Cassandra for her again, who had already been there and spoken to her and told her goodbye for the night. I spent the next few minutes out in the hall while they spoke and Jason said goodbye to his mom.
And I, of course, buried it deep inside, kept my mouth shut, and pouted all the way home. But whatever. It's who I am.
She's still in the hospital but she's out of the ICU. She was doing really well, had the staples taken out and was starting to eat again when they found out she was completely infected with MRSA so now we're not sure what will happen and when she'll be coming home.
On to other news... My new doctor has started me on Topamax for my migraines and chronic headaches. It has a horrid list of scary side effects as long as my leg but I was willing to try anything if it would stop the headaches and migraines. I've suffered from constant headaches since I was a teenager. Probably since I was 15 or 16. I wake up with them, eat with them, sleep with them. Some wives can tell their husbands, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache!" Never works for me. Mr Man would never get any if that were the case! lol
I don't know what it's like anymore to not have head pain going on. I filled the prescription last night and took the first pill on the way home from Walmart. Within 30 minutes I had this coppery taste rush into my mouth like I'd stuck a handful of pennies in there or it had filled up with blood. The Coke I was drinking then tasted like metal and I couldn't drink anymore. It made me jittery and woke me up at 3 AM this morning shaking with chills, freezing my ass off, and wide awake. I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin, it was that bad. BUT, for the first time in YEARS, I was headache free! All of those side effects may actually be worth it if I can get rid of the damn headaches!
Oh, and one last bonus is that it completely kills your appetite for some people and you lose loads of weight. It does seem to have that effect on me. I'd be completely ok with losing lots of weight lol! Wouldn't that be great right before summer???
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
My 37 Things...
This was a thing on Facebook and I'm posting it here. I've been a FaceBook whore. I admit it! It's been so great to catch up with all these old friends from Junior High and High School. Some from even as far back as Elementary! My love of facebook is a post for another day though lol
1. Do you like bleu cheese? Moldy cheese? Ummm, ew and no!
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes! For a brief while in high school until my boyfriend at the time, who also smoked, found my pack and tore them up in front of me. The one and only thing I am ever grateful to him for doing to me.
3. Do you own a gun? Yes. And they're plastic and some are made of foam.
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Kool Aid? Oh geez... Probably fruit punch or black cherry.
5. What job would you like to do other than your own? Working with disabled children or for a foundation like "Make a Wish"
6. What do you think of hot dogs? What do I "think" of hot dogs?? Weird question... I think um, they're pretty good with ketchup.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? I looooove to watch Family Stone, Elf, Christmas with the Kranks and Polar Express. Can't just pick one...
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee. Coffee and more Coffee.
9. Can you do push ups? What's a push up? Like a push up bra? Ya, I can do those.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The beautiful diamond ring Jason bought me.
11. Favorite hobby? It's a toss up between blogging and photography right now.
12. Do you have A. D. D.? ADD? What's that? Oh look, something shiny...
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yes and yes. Haven't worn glasses in years, it was always contacts. Then my contacts started bothering me about a year ago and I'm wearing glasses sometimes again. I think it may be time to go get my eyes checked again.
14. Middle name? jodi. Don't laugh.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: #1 - This is a long question and answer thing and my arms are tired from typing. #2 - I really should be working or at least pretending to be working. #3 - I hope Mr Man really fixed my laptop!
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, coke and more coke.
17. Current worry? If something I took, that I wasn't supposed to be taking anymore, will show up in my drug screening tomorrow at the doctors office. oops!
18. Current hate right now? This weather! I wish it were spring!
19. Favorite place to be? Home with my family, relaxing.
20. How did you ring in the New Year? At home with my family, including my sister and my 2 nephews.
22. Name three people who will complete this. I can't. I hate to tag other people. If they want to do this, they can. If not, oh well...
23. Do you own slippers? 4 pairs! (Don't judge).
24. What color shirt are you wearing? a dark turqoise green color with a peek a boo hole in the front that my bra keeps peeking through.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I like really comfortable, cotton sheets.
26. Can you whistle? Not in the least!
27. Where are you now? At work, sitting at my desk.
28. Would you be a pirate? Wow... I didn't know being a pirate was an option! I need to rethink my choices for tomorrow....
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything that pops into my head...
30. Favorite girl’s Name? Machayla
31. Favorite boy’s name? Connor or Caleb. I wanted to name Brady one of those but they didn't go with Coulam very well.
32. What is in your pocket right now? In my sweater pocket is a cute little pink construction paper heart with glue on it. It fell off a Valentine Card Brady made at school and was on the floor of my car so I picked it up and put it in my pocket a couple of weeks ago and it's been there ever since.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Jeff at work talking about someone calling into tech support from their BATHROOM. Ew!
34. What vehicle do you drive? A purple Geo Prizm
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? One that stuck with me for the rest of my life. That hurts. A LOT!
36. Do you love where you live? mmmmm, for the most part.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? More then I care to admit actually. One in each bedroom plus the front room.
Now that my laptop is (hopefully) fixed, I should be able to get back to posting on my blog a lot more. It's been hard not having it after I'd gotten used to using it so often!
1. Do you like bleu cheese? Moldy cheese? Ummm, ew and no!
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes! For a brief while in high school until my boyfriend at the time, who also smoked, found my pack and tore them up in front of me. The one and only thing I am ever grateful to him for doing to me.
3. Do you own a gun? Yes. And they're plastic and some are made of foam.
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Kool Aid? Oh geez... Probably fruit punch or black cherry.
5. What job would you like to do other than your own? Working with disabled children or for a foundation like "Make a Wish"
6. What do you think of hot dogs? What do I "think" of hot dogs?? Weird question... I think um, they're pretty good with ketchup.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? I looooove to watch Family Stone, Elf, Christmas with the Kranks and Polar Express. Can't just pick one...
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee. Coffee and more Coffee.
9. Can you do push ups? What's a push up? Like a push up bra? Ya, I can do those.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The beautiful diamond ring Jason bought me.
11. Favorite hobby? It's a toss up between blogging and photography right now.
12. Do you have A. D. D.? ADD? What's that? Oh look, something shiny...
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yes and yes. Haven't worn glasses in years, it was always contacts. Then my contacts started bothering me about a year ago and I'm wearing glasses sometimes again. I think it may be time to go get my eyes checked again.
14. Middle name? jodi. Don't laugh.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: #1 - This is a long question and answer thing and my arms are tired from typing. #2 - I really should be working or at least pretending to be working. #3 - I hope Mr Man really fixed my laptop!
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, coke and more coke.
17. Current worry? If something I took, that I wasn't supposed to be taking anymore, will show up in my drug screening tomorrow at the doctors office. oops!
18. Current hate right now? This weather! I wish it were spring!
19. Favorite place to be? Home with my family, relaxing.
20. How did you ring in the New Year? At home with my family, including my sister and my 2 nephews.
22. Name three people who will complete this. I can't. I hate to tag other people. If they want to do this, they can. If not, oh well...
23. Do you own slippers? 4 pairs! (Don't judge).
24. What color shirt are you wearing? a dark turqoise green color with a peek a boo hole in the front that my bra keeps peeking through.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I like really comfortable, cotton sheets.
26. Can you whistle? Not in the least!
27. Where are you now? At work, sitting at my desk.
28. Would you be a pirate? Wow... I didn't know being a pirate was an option! I need to rethink my choices for tomorrow....
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything that pops into my head...
30. Favorite girl’s Name? Machayla
31. Favorite boy’s name? Connor or Caleb. I wanted to name Brady one of those but they didn't go with Coulam very well.
32. What is in your pocket right now? In my sweater pocket is a cute little pink construction paper heart with glue on it. It fell off a Valentine Card Brady made at school and was on the floor of my car so I picked it up and put it in my pocket a couple of weeks ago and it's been there ever since.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Jeff at work talking about someone calling into tech support from their BATHROOM. Ew!
34. What vehicle do you drive? A purple Geo Prizm
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? One that stuck with me for the rest of my life. That hurts. A LOT!
36. Do you love where you live? mmmmm, for the most part.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? More then I care to admit actually. One in each bedroom plus the front room.
Now that my laptop is (hopefully) fixed, I should be able to get back to posting on my blog a lot more. It's been hard not having it after I'd gotten used to using it so often!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Random Tuesday Thoughts
The unmom is doing her weekly Random Tuesday Thoughts and I thought I'd join in. It seems that lately I've hit this wall with blogging. I'm too tired and exhausted, first off, to pay much attention to my blogging. It seems I'm not even reading blogs on my Reader lately either. Yes, I have become too lazy to blog! How can that happen? Anyways, I figured what better way of jumping back in then for someone else to tell me what to write about! I don't do well with being told what to do but I figured this one time can't hurt!
My Random Tuesday Thoughts, so far, have been....
The outfit I wore today? Lame! It is ok with my sweater on but guess what? I didn't look into the future when I'd be sitting here at my office working away and getting so hot (which, lets face it is EVERYDAY!!!! For some reason, people here like to keep the heat at 78 which means I'm sweating my ass off!) that I'd have to take off said sweater. Without the sweater, I'm basically in white from head to toe. And yes, I'm wearing white pants! I'm a rebel like that... So now I have to stay seated at my desk so I don't look like a fool, or put the sweater back on, which it's too hot to do!
Think anyone would notice if I just went home? That would fix the problem!
It's snowing like CRAZY out here in Utah. Big, fat, fluffy snowflakes that ARE sticking to the ground and roads. This morning it was beautiful and so peaceful to watch.
UNTIL I had to drive in the crap! Then it wasn't so cute.
I'm just wondering when it became socially acceptable for someone to make horrid bodily noises at their desk in the office for everyone to hear. And then repeat them every 10 minutes or so! Seriously!?!? There's a bathroom 50 feet away. USE IT! Other then that, this person is a beautiful, sweet woman who could be my best friend. Well, if she didn't make those noises!
I really wish I'd deposited more money in the checking account so I could pay the gas bill today. Which I completely forgot about until just now. Why do I have to make everything so difficult? I have the money. In my PURSE! Which doesn't help when I want to pay online! Ugh!
I'm also still fuming over a recent arcticle on Fibromyalgia where one of it's strongest supporters back in the day recently (last week) came out saying he takes back everything he proved to be true back then. That NOW he believes Fibro sufferers are a bunch of whiners who just don't know how to DEAL with their lives and problems. Yes, I'm still bitter! He proved all of these different things to show the world, and the government, that FMS was a REAL illness that deserved REAL treatment and respect. NOW he's basically telling us to stop whining, deal with our problems, and that we'll magically fix ourselves and never have pain again. Lame ass! And no, I won't link to him here because I don't want him getting more attention because he doesn't deserve it. And if I saw him on the street, I'd trip him the way Nicki tripped the "prophet" on Big Love. He feel allll the way down the stairs. It was awesome!
And I really want to start a separate blog that's about my Fibro and other health issues. I've wanted to do it for months now but things have held me back. Such as, what to name it for one. And I'm worried if I start a blog solely for that purpose, that I might dwell on my health more then I want to. BUT I don't know that I feel completely comfortable blogging about it here. I dunno why.
Anyways, that's my crappy Random Tuesday Thoughts post. Back to the regularly scheduled programming tomorrow...
My Random Tuesday Thoughts, so far, have been....
The outfit I wore today? Lame! It is ok with my sweater on but guess what? I didn't look into the future when I'd be sitting here at my office working away and getting so hot (which, lets face it is EVERYDAY!!!! For some reason, people here like to keep the heat at 78 which means I'm sweating my ass off!) that I'd have to take off said sweater. Without the sweater, I'm basically in white from head to toe. And yes, I'm wearing white pants! I'm a rebel like that... So now I have to stay seated at my desk so I don't look like a fool, or put the sweater back on, which it's too hot to do!
Think anyone would notice if I just went home? That would fix the problem!
It's snowing like CRAZY out here in Utah. Big, fat, fluffy snowflakes that ARE sticking to the ground and roads. This morning it was beautiful and so peaceful to watch.
UNTIL I had to drive in the crap! Then it wasn't so cute.
I'm just wondering when it became socially acceptable for someone to make horrid bodily noises at their desk in the office for everyone to hear. And then repeat them every 10 minutes or so! Seriously!?!? There's a bathroom 50 feet away. USE IT! Other then that, this person is a beautiful, sweet woman who could be my best friend. Well, if she didn't make those noises!
I really wish I'd deposited more money in the checking account so I could pay the gas bill today. Which I completely forgot about until just now. Why do I have to make everything so difficult? I have the money. In my PURSE! Which doesn't help when I want to pay online! Ugh!
I'm also still fuming over a recent arcticle on Fibromyalgia where one of it's strongest supporters back in the day recently (last week) came out saying he takes back everything he proved to be true back then. That NOW he believes Fibro sufferers are a bunch of whiners who just don't know how to DEAL with their lives and problems. Yes, I'm still bitter! He proved all of these different things to show the world, and the government, that FMS was a REAL illness that deserved REAL treatment and respect. NOW he's basically telling us to stop whining, deal with our problems, and that we'll magically fix ourselves and never have pain again. Lame ass! And no, I won't link to him here because I don't want him getting more attention because he doesn't deserve it. And if I saw him on the street, I'd trip him the way Nicki tripped the "prophet" on Big Love. He feel allll the way down the stairs. It was awesome!
And I really want to start a separate blog that's about my Fibro and other health issues. I've wanted to do it for months now but things have held me back. Such as, what to name it for one. And I'm worried if I start a blog solely for that purpose, that I might dwell on my health more then I want to. BUT I don't know that I feel completely comfortable blogging about it here. I dunno why.
Anyways, that's my crappy Random Tuesday Thoughts post. Back to the regularly scheduled programming tomorrow...
Friday, February 6, 2009
SITS Giveaway! Check it out!
If you are not a fan of SITS, or a follower for that matter, and you are a blogger, you need to check this site out. Seriously. It's brought lots of traffic to my blog that I never had when I started blogging. And isn't that what we're all here for anyways? To have the validation through traffic and comments that someone other than ourselves is paying attention to our thoughts and dreams?
(Well, those and the whining that usually accompanies said thoughts and dreams...)
I love this site and right now they're giving away a fabulous prize for February, Bedroom Bliss.
No ladies, this does not mean that if you win, they will send some hot, sexy guy to your house to provide all the bedroom "bliss" you can handle.
Of course the prize will probably be delivered by a UPS or FX delivery driver...
Who will probably be male. (That's all that's ever delivered to my house.)
What you do when he gets there to deliver your prize is none of my concern... That's between you, him, and the nosey neighbor who will probably see you pulling him in your front door by his shirt.
A set of 2 Memory Foam Pillows
Sheet spray, lotion and candles
A set of soft and luxurious spa towels
The winner's blog will be SITS Friday Favorite the first Friday of March!
Which really means, they'll spotlight your very own blog, tell everyone about it, and hundreds of beautiful, intelligent people will race to your blog to check it out and leave comments filled with love and admiration about how smart, funny and witty you and your writing really is. Ok, well, maybe not EXACTLY that last part, but they will show up and comment on your blog. And since we're a group of friendly, wonderful people, you will get friendly, wonderful comments on your blogging.
What more could you ask for?? So go on... Go visit the links I've provided and enter to win. Not for nothing but I'm hoping I win this and not you! Spray 'n Wash ruined the last beautiful high thread count sheet set I bought when I sprayed it on one of the pillow cases. It bleached out the color! What's up with that?!?! So I really need to win this one!
Of course there are rules and stipulations on how you enter to win. So read through all the deets on their site to get all the info.
Happy Friday everyone!
(Well, those and the whining that usually accompanies said thoughts and dreams...)
I love this site and right now they're giving away a fabulous prize for February, Bedroom Bliss.
No ladies, this does not mean that if you win, they will send some hot, sexy guy to your house to provide all the bedroom "bliss" you can handle.
Of course the prize will probably be delivered by a UPS or FX delivery driver...
Who will probably be male. (That's all that's ever delivered to my house.)
What you do when he gets there to deliver your prize is none of my concern... That's between you, him, and the nosey neighbor who will probably see you pulling him in your front door by his shirt.
SITS is giving away... (Drum roll please...)
An amazing 500 thread count sheet set (You choose the size)
A set of 2 Memory Foam Pillows
Sheet spray, lotion and candles
A set of soft and luxurious spa towels
$30 Gift Card to Target for anything we missed
And as an added bonus, as if the above stuff wasn't ENOUGH, (geez yer greedy!)...
The winner's blog will be SITS Friday Favorite the first Friday of March!
Which really means, they'll spotlight your very own blog, tell everyone about it, and hundreds of beautiful, intelligent people will race to your blog to check it out and leave comments filled with love and admiration about how smart, funny and witty you and your writing really is. Ok, well, maybe not EXACTLY that last part, but they will show up and comment on your blog. And since we're a group of friendly, wonderful people, you will get friendly, wonderful comments on your blogging.
What more could you ask for?? So go on... Go visit the links I've provided and enter to win. Not for nothing but I'm hoping I win this and not you! Spray 'n Wash ruined the last beautiful high thread count sheet set I bought when I sprayed it on one of the pillow cases. It bleached out the color! What's up with that?!?! So I really need to win this one!
Of course there are rules and stipulations on how you enter to win. So read through all the deets on their site to get all the info.
Happy Friday everyone!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
My Promise to Myself!
I've been wondering how to get more readers to my blog. It's a little hard to reel in loyal visitors when there are so many wonderful, funny, talented bloggers out there. Even I have a hard time posting to my blog because there are so many great bloggers on my Google Reader that I'm trying to keep up with.
Someone suggested I put up a picture of boobs. Big, round, luscious boobs. In a red, lacy bra. With lots of cleavage. Well, it was supposed to be a picture of MY big knockers, not just ANY boobs. That would be a great way to bring more traffic to my blog! While my cleavage is very nice, it's not my style. And I'm not sure it would bring in the kind of readers I'm hoping would stick around. You know... The icky men who are googling "hot boobs" or "big boobs" or "cleavage" late at night, while sitting in their boxers, or worse, naked, in front of the computer. Not my idea of a reader I want to keep.
Someone suggested I run polls on my blog. About what I am not sure! And since I don't do well with other people telling me what to do, wouldn't help out in the end anyways lol.
Someone suggested writing about politics because that is a sure fire way to bring more traffic and get more comments on my blog. It would get people talking! Well, I suck at politics and about knowing what is actually happening in the world. Isn't Sarah Palin just a character on SNL? (I'm totally kidding. Nobody write to me to tell me who she REALLY is!)
Then I realized I would probably get more readers if I actually BLOGGED MORE! Imagine that! Maybe if I updated my blog more then once a month, and talked about it more, I'd actually get people coming back more often! That is one of my goals for this year. Notice I did not say "resolution" because you know how I feel about resolutions. So I'm trying to make a promise to myself that I will blog more often. It always makes me feel better when I blog. It's really therapuetic for me. It's the "me" time I so desparately need since I spend so much time taking care of everyone else around me except for me!
So it's a promise I've made myself that I need to make sure I keep! If you, my dear loyal readers/followers, don't see a recent post, I give you permission to email me and bug me about it! But seriously, don't ask me for the picture of my boobs. My profile pic has enough cleavage on it. That's about all I'm willing to share...
Someone suggested I put up a picture of boobs. Big, round, luscious boobs. In a red, lacy bra. With lots of cleavage. Well, it was supposed to be a picture of MY big knockers, not just ANY boobs. That would be a great way to bring more traffic to my blog! While my cleavage is very nice, it's not my style. And I'm not sure it would bring in the kind of readers I'm hoping would stick around. You know... The icky men who are googling "hot boobs" or "big boobs" or "cleavage" late at night, while sitting in their boxers, or worse, naked, in front of the computer. Not my idea of a reader I want to keep.
Someone suggested I run polls on my blog. About what I am not sure! And since I don't do well with other people telling me what to do, wouldn't help out in the end anyways lol.
Someone suggested writing about politics because that is a sure fire way to bring more traffic and get more comments on my blog. It would get people talking! Well, I suck at politics and about knowing what is actually happening in the world. Isn't Sarah Palin just a character on SNL? (I'm totally kidding. Nobody write to me to tell me who she REALLY is!)
Then I realized I would probably get more readers if I actually BLOGGED MORE! Imagine that! Maybe if I updated my blog more then once a month, and talked about it more, I'd actually get people coming back more often! That is one of my goals for this year. Notice I did not say "resolution" because you know how I feel about resolutions. So I'm trying to make a promise to myself that I will blog more often. It always makes me feel better when I blog. It's really therapuetic for me. It's the "me" time I so desparately need since I spend so much time taking care of everyone else around me except for me!
So it's a promise I've made myself that I need to make sure I keep! If you, my dear loyal readers/followers, don't see a recent post, I give you permission to email me and bug me about it! But seriously, don't ask me for the picture of my boobs. My profile pic has enough cleavage on it. That's about all I'm willing to share...
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